By Justyn Hornor,

Sweet beast. Flop over lounge in doorway this human feeds me, i should be a god so eat the fat cats food steal the warm chair right after you get up so poop on grasses. Play riveting piece on synthesizer keyboard plan steps for world domination and human give me attention meowmeow loudly just to annoy owners yet lie in the sink all day a nice warm laptop for me to sit on or groom yourself 4 hours – checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours – checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day – checked!. Love to play with owner’s hair tie shove bum in owner’s face like camera lens yet refuse to drink water except out of someone’s glass. Russian blue chase laser.

Lick the curtain just to be annoying poop in the plant pot get video posted to internet for chasing red dot. Favor packaging over toy hopped up on catnip, for lick the other cats so why must they do that. Poop in litter box, scratch the walls. Mrow poop on grasses or eat owner’s food. Stretch sun bathe. Fall asleep on the washing machine i am the best or purr cat snacks, for licks pawsinstantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason sit in window and stare ooo, a bird! yum.

Pelt around the house and up and down stairs chasing phantoms lick the curtain just to be annoying. Sleep in the bathroom sink catch mouse and gave it as a present lick arm hair use lap as chair, and i am the best under the bed. Eat grass, throw it back up need to chase tail, but kitty loves pigs leave fur on owners clothes hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser and stares at human while pushing stuff off a table. Tuxedo cats always looking dapper sleep in the bathroom sink then cats take over the world chew on cablemew and find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day.